Tomorrow is another day. Not that today was in any way disasterous. It was quite a good one. But I'm one of those weird reflective types who finds it necessary to silence all the remaining little nuances that remain unsettled before I can finally rest. I don't find being 'up the front' very easy...but its always been part of the cross you bear to follow the call of God upon your life and the grace of God has always covered my introversion...in many ways, it seems like a 'thorn in the flesh' that keeps me reliant on God.
The difference for me these days is recognising that instead of fighting it. I don't need to be anyone else rather than me. I don't have to lead out of any other place rather than the work God is doing in me. Thats the energising bit. For the times when I'm less than what I can be, the hope simply has to be that glory shines through the simple clay of my own life.
Its back to work proper this week after a bit of a change of regime which was the half-term holiday. Some lovely opportunities just to enjoy zero responsibility and to enjoy my family. And its just as good to have the feeling of looking forward to getting stuck in at work again when its all over. It is a blessing to be contributing something helpful, but even with that, comes the need for wisdom in the complexity of any leadership task. God grant it.
The reality is that whether you're leading 4 people or many more, our reliance on God will be the difference between messing it up and getting it anywhere near right and know that whatever happens, it is His church...all I need to do is get out of the way and let it live its own life.
I know the myriad complexities of my own heart and mind as you do yours, but in Christ we find our north, south, east and west. There is nothing better than knowing the hand of God upon your life and entrusting all that you are and have to him. The Way of Jesus is a sure yet a challenging path but its the only one for me and I'll walk it no matter what.